Evaluate your last decade for perfect 2020 vision Why the ten-year-challenge works

PHWOARR! i was HOTTT 10 years ago – and still so bloody insecure then. what a shame!

what would you tell your self from a decade ago?

as we’re about to enter the 2020s, the brilliant marie forleo encourages us to not just evaluate the last year, but the decade in total. what went well for you from 2010 onwards?

what did you learn in the last decade – and which intentions are you setting for the new one?

i love this exercise – and today, i’m actually super proud of what hans and i have achieved, individually and together, looking back at the last ten years:

🔥we’ve had a healthy baby, after a disastrous first pregnancy (3 weeks after having met) had gone traumatically wrong in the most horrible way,
🔥raised our grrrl to be a fierce and feisty bilingual nine-year-old,
🔥had challenging jobs and health issues,
🔥joined new bands,
🔥experienced profound grief and heavy arguments,
🔥started DJing together,
🔥had therapy,
🔥got married,
🔥moved house (a couple of times),
🔥became self-employed,
🔥made a home between two countries with 3 languages spoken,
🔥travelled and demonstrated a lot,
🔥founded an agency together,
🔥ventured into online business and failed massively in our first attempt,
🔥finished my four-and-a-half-year yoga teacher training and
🔥countless further yoga & business seminars and trainings on top and
🔥successfully started hosting my own unique brand of retreats and workshops (fun, non-dogmatic and full of SOUND) – and most importantly,
🔥we’re still here. together!

i’ve made huge progress, both personally and in a business context, for sure. but progress isn’t linear – and sometimes, it leads you forward two steps, and then back another three. the crucial thing when you feel you’ve slipped up, fucked up, made a total fool of yourself or generally failed at something, is to forgive, love and accept yourself, anyway, because:

researchers have found that *unwanted identity* is one of the primary elicitors of shame, as brené brown writes.

„unwanted identities are characteristics that undermine our vision of our ideal selves“,

and while i believe it’s essential to our healing to also embrace those parts of us that we don’t deem ideal – and to NOT let a „false self“ (which we may have HAD to build up in childhood to survive) ruin the way we love and accept ourselves – this can be tricky in a business context:

„yes – presenting your best self to the world is marketing“,

denise duffield-thomas states, „it’s not exactly real. but it’s the same reason we don’t give people presents crumpled in the shopping bag, we package it up to add to the experience.“

as rachel brathen, the poet and philosopher also known as yoga girl, says:

„so much of how i feel and act is connected to the past. part of my journey is figuring out what is truly a part of me, what brings my light out into the world, and what is baggage masquerading as personality…i have learned now that the only way to make peace with who you are is to make peace with your past.“

so as i look backwards, it’s actually looking forward: to a new decade in which i can finally let go of that which no longer serves me. that which is NOT a part of me, but baggage i can leave behind at last. in my case, that is playing small, sometimes having ridiculously weak boundaries and a tendency to look up at others. to let myself be pushed around, and stay in second row as a result, because it seems safer!

i guess i have learned how to say NO at last and that means a simple, but oh so powerful YES to myself, in my identity-in-the-making – a process that is fluid and requires BOTH feeling and thought, in equal measure. and i want to help you in that process!

because the way you reveal your identity publicly, say, in your branding – which is, after all, merely the stories you choose to tell in words and images – and on your website, needs to be calibrated finely and ideally, with a sparringspartner who is empathetic, experienced and analytical.

hit me up if you fancy working with me on REVEALING IDENTITIES in my brand-new program called FIRE WOMAN (mentoring, branding and sound work involving yoga, writing and LIVE elements by the north sea) – or if you just fancy a chat.

but whatever you do: look back so you can look forward to 2020 in a kick-ass, creative and productive way! BTW, my word for 2020 that came to me last night is FLOW. which is yours? i’d love to know – pop it in the comments or in a PM!

OM and rock ON

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